Fic Title: The Underwire Job
Why This Must Be Read: This is absolute perfection for Leverage fic. It has Parker, Eliot and Hardison down pat. What happens when Parker comes to Eliot in order to figure out how to seduce Hardison? This story is laugh out loud funny, because Eliot's exasperation (and fear) is so spot-on. Plus, there are lines in here that are unexpectedly deep and sobering, because Parker's past is something that's been eluded to as "not-so-happy." Thrown in Eliot's wry humor, a lesbian bar, and a job, and this fic is absolute perfection.
The next day was hell. Eliot had been dragged along shopping by women before. Hell, Amy used to think a trip together to the mall was a romantic date, and at the time, he hadn't even minded, which, christ. But Parker marched through stores like they were hostile territory, and Eliot had to scamper after her righting mannequins and children she'd knocked over in her quest to get in, get the goods, and get out.
Also a new kind of hell: do these pants make my ass look sexy. Parker had decided pictures of her butt would be useless to her, and Eliot could simply tell her.
"No-- I don't know!"
Parker scowled at him. "How can you not know? You're supposed to be my expert."
And that was why Parker had brought him in, he realized, brokenly, in the ladies' fitting room of Nordstrom's. Parker was assembling her own tiny team for a job. The worst part was, he wasn't sure if he was Sophie in this team, or Nate.
Oddly, once he started thinking of this as a job, and not him being some sort of substitute gal pal, it got a lot easier. This wasn't shopping; it was assembling the required equipment.
He looked her over again. "Not those ones," he said. "Bend over? Yeah, no. Try the dark blue."
The dark blue worked, but the necklace wasn't going to, not with that silhouette. "You need a push-up bra," he said, and lead the charge to the lingerie department, where he charmed the attendant into giving his "little sister" all the specialized help she needed.
"She's a sweet girl," the attendant confided, while Parker was in the dressing room going through a pile of satiny lacy things in nine colours.
"So sweet she gives me toothache," he said, and did the lazy smile under his eyelashes that was a guaranteed phone number getter. He didn't even mind when Parker caught him at it and made him repeat it in the parking lot for her edification.
"Are you sure about this thing?" she said, and looked down the front of her shirt again. There was a lot more to look at. Not that he was looking.
"But they're all elevated and in the way. What if I need to rappel?"
"You won't need to rappel on a date!"