Pairing: Britta Perry/Jeff Winger
Fic Title: Bad Idea
Rating/Warning(s): NC-17 / sex, spoilers through 2.21 Paradigms of Human Memory
Genre: Post-Episode, Romance
Special Rec: 13/30
Why This Must Be Read: Because the more that Jeff and Britta refuse to admit that they're in a relationship, the harder I ship them. This piece is an excellent post-script to the drunken backseat make-outs of Mixology Certification; the author has done a great job showing their season two dynamic.
"Hey Jeff? Weird question?"
"When was the last time you got laid?" He laughs out loud. "Seriously?"
He can hear her roll her eyes. "By someone who wasn’t me." He chuckles, then thinks, and then starts when he realises he has to think. It wasn’t this week. It wasn’t last week. It wasn’t the week before that. It might not have even been... oh God. He goes back a month and nothing. He reaches beyond that, scraping his memory banks and then he stops and gapes at the phone, horrified.
Britta’s voice, tinny when held away from his ear this way, asks, "Jeff?"
"Um." He hears his voice say, stunned. "Um."
"Yeah, me too."
He swallows. "I mean, I just haven’t really been. You know. Trying. I..." his voice trails off. Why hasn’t he been trying? Oh God, this is so lame, Greendale has totally killed his game. He doesn’t even want to have meaningless sex with random hot women anymore? What is wrong with him? He moans in horror.
It’s at this point that Britta makes a breathy noise and then says, "Jeff? I can get a cab." Without thinking he says, "Yes," and she says, "Ten minutes," and hangs up. He sits still with the phone to his ear for a minute longer, still thinking about his epic dry spell, and then he realises what he just agreed to. What the fuck?
How is sleeping with Britta again going to solve the fact that he can’t seem to get around to sleeping with anyone but Britta? Seriously, what the fuck is he thinking? If anything, he should be getting his ass out of bed to find someone else to randomly screw, not accepting Britta’s invitation for a second booty-call in one night.
God. This is so fucked up.